Online dating is a game. And like every game, it has its own rules and strategies you can deploy. If you know the secrets of the play, you are bound to be successful. One topic that raises the most concerns about online dating, is the response time, aka the amount of time you should wait before replying or sending a message after a wink. This sounds like a trivial problem at first. “Why should I wait? I have the notification option turned on; I’ll know instantly when a match has been found for me!” This is an earnest opinion, but flawed nonetheless. The time spent between the successful matchmaking and the first message sent can be indeed a deal-breaker.

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Over Eagerness vs Slow Responses

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Your response time tells a lot about you. A common mistake among single men is that they respond too early, because they think this is the polite thing to do – not to mention they want to capture and keep a woman’s attention. However, overeagerness might make you look like creepy or crazy in the eye of the other. An overly rapid response is the worst course of action you can take. If you are a man, don’t be afraid to wait a day. However, women should avoid playing the “waiting game” . As you can see, men are often quite the impatient type, and they are prone to declare a partner cold or unresponsive if they fail to give a response in time. One day is the longest period of time you should wait as a woman, but it’s safer to delay it for half a day only.

Timing, Instead of Delaying

In reality, the aspect of responding is more about guessing the other’s status, and not about the action of contact itself. Instead of counting the hours for the perfect reply, try to time it well. Making a move on a wink or message on a Friday or Saturday night, communicates that there is nothing really going on at your end, thus you have a boring life. Also, avoid replies at 1am, because the other might think you are a creep who is up all night, starving for attention. Just play it cool, and write a message during the afternoon. This is the time when most people are in boring routines (traveling home, having a nap, etc.), giving an impression that you have important things to do, and only now realized that someone sent you a wink.

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Even though online dating is blooming, with millions of users searching for love each day, there is still a large majority of singles who find it difficult to get into the fray. Their case isn’t helped by all those overly positive, generic messages, stating that “the best time to start online dating is now” or “with smartphone apps, it’s dating time 24/7”. The fact is online dating does have its peaks and lows, both on a daily and annual basis. Not to mention that trying to be active during a low-time can work against you. That’s why asking for the ideal starting time for online dating is indeed a legitimate question.

The Best Time of the Day

Let’s start our analysis by inspecting the ups and downs of dating activity on a regular day. According to statistics pulled from Tinder and OkCupid, most people go online to hunt for dates in the evening, between 8pm and 9pm. This is the busiest time for all dating sites as well. You can expect a sudden increase of interest and quick responses during this period. The answer is simple: people have too much energy left to go to sleep, or it’s too early to go to a party, so they just roam around dating sites and apps while watching TV or in between reading a book. It’s also indicated that a large share of young adults and active workers go online at 4pm as it’s the time for a well-deserved break, and they need to rewind by looking at potential matches.

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However, we warn you to stay away from connecting to your dating site between 11pm and 9am, no matter how tempting it is. Doing so not only communicates that you have nothing really going on in your life, but you scarcely find any quality matches to chat with during this time of the day. In fact, this is the time of day you are most likely to encounter scammers, people who have been up drinking and other bad dates.

Dating Calendar

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It goes without saying that online dating also suffers from certain downtimes during the year. For example, winter is a season where the dating landscape is often as frozen and empty as the outside world. This is because people are less willing to go for a walking date when it’s cold. Especially the holiday season is mostly about the time of celebration and family reunions, and singles are too busy searching for presents. Of course, Christmas miracles can happen, but it’s better to wait for January and February. That’s the time when the New Year’s promise of finding a new partner kicks in with others, not to mention that Valentine’s Day also brings love into the air. Most people prefer the early part of the summer for open-place dates (preferably during a foreign vacation), while fall is the time where college students meet up with their peers to party and fall in love.

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